I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: An Interview.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is rightfully celebrated as an iconic tough guy. But, at the height of his star power in the 1980s and 1990s, he also delivered several surprisingly great comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35th anniversary this holiday season.

The Film and That Line

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a hardened detective who masquerades as a kindergarten teacher to catch a killer. For much of the film's runtime, the procedural element serves as a basic structure for Schwarzenegger to share adorable interactions with kids. The most unforgettable involves a little boy named Joseph, who unprompted stands up and informs the stoic star, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger replies icily, “I appreciate the insight.”

The boy behind the line was brought to life by former young actor Miko Hughes. In addition to this part included a notable part on Full House playing the antagonist to the Olsen twins and the haunting part of the youngster who comes back in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with a slate of movies on the horizon. Additionally, he is a regular on the con circuit. He recently discussed his experiences from the set of Kindergarten Cop 35 years later.

Memories from the Set

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I have no memory from being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would accompany me to auditions. Frequently it was a mass tryout. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, do whatever little line they wanted and then leave. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, when I became literate, that was some of the first material I was reading.

Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?

He was incredibly nice. He was enjoyable. He was good-natured, which I suppose isn't too surprising. It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a positive atmosphere. He was a joy to have on set.

“It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I knew he was a huge celebrity because I was told, but I had not actually watched his movies. I felt the importance — like, that's cool — but he wasn't scary to me. He was simply playful and I only wanted to hang out with him when he had time. He was busy, obviously, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd tense up and we'd be holding on. He was incredibly giving. He purchased for each child in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was like an iPhone. This was the must-have gadget, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It wore out in time. I also received a real silver whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being positive?

You know, it's amusing, that movie was this cultural thing. It was such a big movie, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, traveling to Oregon, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the original Game Boy was new. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would hand me their devices to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all childhood recollections.

The Line

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember the context? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word provocative meant, but I understood it was edgy and it made adults laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given an exception in this case because it was funny.

“It was a difficult decision for her.”

How it came about, based on what I was told, was they were still developing characters. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they worked on it while filming and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "Give me a moment, let me sleep on it" and took some time. She deliberated carefully. She said she had doubts, but she felt it will probably be one of the iconic quotes from the movie and history proved her correct.