I Am the Imaginary Guitar World Champion

When I was just 10, I came across a article in my hometown newspaper about the World Air Guitar Competition, that happens every year in my native city of Oulu, Finland. My parents had volunteered at the inaugural contest since 1996 – my mum distributed flyers, dad managed the music. Ever since, national championships have been held globally, with the winners assembling in Oulu each August.

At the time, I inquired with my family if I could participate. They weren't sure at first; the show was in a bar, and there would be many grown-ups. They thought it might be an overwhelming atmosphere, but I was set on it.

In my youth, I was always performing air guitar, pretending to play to the most popular rock tunes with my invisible instrument. Mom and Dad were enthusiasts – dad loved The Boss and U2. AC/DC was the original act I stumbled upon myself. Angus Young, the guitar hero, was my hero.

When I stepped on stage, I did my routine to AC/DC’s that classic track. The crowd started yelling ā€œAngusā€, just like the album track, and it hit me: this must be to be a music icon. I made it to the finals, playing to a large audience in the public plaza, and I was hooked. I was dubbed ā€œLittle Angusā€ that day.

After that I stopped. I was a referee one year, and started the show on another occasion, but I stayed out of the contest. I returned at 18, experimented with various stage names, but everyone still referred to me as ā€œLittle Angusā€ so I decided to own it and make ā€œThe Angusā€ as my performance alias. I’ve reached the finals each competition since then, and in 2023 I came second, so I was set to take the title this year.

The worldwide group is like a support system. The saying we live by is ā€˜Create music, not conflict’. It sounds silly, but it’s a real philosophy.

The contest is high-energy yet fun. Contestants have 60 seconds to put their all – high-powered performance, perfect mime, performance charm – on an invisible guitar. The panel evaluate you on a scale from 4.0 to 6.0. When it's a draw, there’s an ā€œtiebreakerā€ between the last two competitors: a song plays and you freestyle.

Training is crucial. I picked an the band Avenged Sevenfold song for my performance. I had it on repeat for a long time. I practiced flexibility, trying to get my lower body flexible enough to leap, my fingers quick enough to mimic solos and my spine prepared for those bends and jumps. Once competition day dawned, I could internalize the track in my bones.

When the show concluded, the points were announced, and I had drawn with the winner from Japan, Yuta ā€œSudo-chanā€ Sudo – it was time for an final showdown. We competed directly to that classic rock anthem by the iconic band. As the music started, I felt comforted because it was a tune I recognized, and more than anything I was so eager to perform one more time. Once the results were read I’d won, the venue erupted.

It's all a bit fuzzy. I think I zoned out from shock. Then all present started performing Neil Young’s the anthem Rockin' in the Free World and lifted me on to their arms. Justin Howard – alias Nordic Thunder – a former champion and one of my dear companions, was holding me. I cried. I was the first Finnish air guitar world champion in a quarter-century. The prior titleholder, Markus ā€œBlack Ravenā€ VainionpƤƤ, was also present. He offered me the most heartfelt squeeze and said it was ā€œabout damn timeā€.

This worldwide group is like a close-knit group. Our guiding saying is ā€œFocus on fun, not fightingā€. It may seem humorous, but it’s a true way of life. People come from all over the world, and everyone is helpful and motivating. Prior to performing, every competitor comes and hugs you. Then for a brief period you’re free to be yourself, silly, the top performer in the world.

Additionally, I am a drummer and musician in a band with my sibling called the Southgates, referencing Gareth Southgate, as we’re inspired by UK rock and post-punk. I’ve been serving drinks for a couple of years, and I direct short films and music videos. The victory hasn’t altered my routine drastically but I’ve been doing a lot of press, and I wish it leads to more artistic projects. Oulu will be a European capital of culture the coming year, so there are great prospects.

For now, I’m just thankful: for the community, for the opportunity to play, and for that little kid who picked up a newspaper and thought, ā€œI want to do that.ā€

Kurt Thornton
Kurt Thornton

A passionate card game strategist and writer, sharing expert tips and engaging stories to enhance your gaming experience.